Category — Seeking Eve

Home is asking to be wrapped. Rooms wait ready to spill out door, into arms of strangers, onto trucks, into cardboard, buried in storage, carted on boat. Too many bins and boxes for my little head: what to keep, what to store, what to sell, what to bring to Bowen, what to ship out east, what to give to family, what, where, how, when…

But I know life sits out of hand. In arms a billion star courses wide. And I take her hand, now one-year-old, and walk our path to smiling eyes. Sit in her chair at our coffee house. Visit our park, swing our swings, dip in our wading pool, visit our friends, roll all over green carpet thick, laid out under our trees, eat sushi where they remember our alaska rolls and our names.

Soon, together three, we will light new paths, grieve old ones, sit huddled in front of burning hearth, welcome friends at ferry dock and feed hungry mouths, rest weary heads in our island home. We hear the Voice who’s laid out our mornings, years, seeking Face that tells our story. These six months will set a course, I can feel it.

There is much ahead. Family to forge. Words to write. Poetry to spill. Schooling to ingest. Home to make.

I met a friend while visiting in-laws last week who told me her story. Of her travels to Romania, working with Gypsies, igniting a call to international law. She’s running toward it. This relit my heart to study more: media’s impact on democracy — how our incessant ingesting of information shapes our understanding of citizenship. Perhaps a Masters in Toronto, time and prayer will tell.

Much is afoot in my little writerly life. The book, the one about women who seek Jesus but don’t all look like suburban mammas, edgy, world-changing gals who rock tats, paint up storms, influence politics here and overseas, is out as a proposal… seeking an agent / publisher. I’ll post some pages so you can see. Poetry is being submitted, I’ll share as it makes its way onto pages. I hope to start having others share their poetry here. I’ve been inspired by my friend Emily’s imperfect prose Thursdays.

My sister-in-law, Brittany, and I have a crazy idea of starting a little onesie company, using my husband’s adorable old Scouting badges: Badge of Honour onesies on Etsy. We’re setting up shop as I type.

For now we take the days as they come, living them full, here in our home in Burnaby… Thank you for sharing this adventure with us.

Through the windowpane I watch him work is magic.

He’s sitting with Mike, patiently. Waiting for the silence to break. Content with his own thoughts. The sun peeling any closet anxiety from his face, gently.

He’s waiting.

His purpose is sitting. Listening. Being. With others. Extending a hand. A word of encouragement.

And he’s smiling.

Mike’s simple words serving as Monday morning treasures.

:::::

My friend Steve works with the disabled. I ran into him at a market a few months ago. He and his friend sat out on the patio. I penned these lines from my table inside as I watched this beautiful scene unfold.

My husband is back to blogging. I think you might enjoy his recent post about Michael Pollan’s miniature writing house.

I sure did. It looks an awful lot like my office on Bowen Island…

where the fondest of memories will forever remain.

She just asked me to drive her. To the mountains. It wasn’t far. Just three hours. There. and three. back again. And I did. Yesterday. We spent hours talking and laughing and praying. And trying to pray.

I took her to mountains. To the heart of her dream. We stumbled out onto a valley laden hill where her heroes live. She got out. I followed. We met Peanut, the dog. And got a tour.

A studio. Hidden. On a reserve. Dwarfed by peaks. Past the last turn-back. Over 5 railroad crossings.

Inside. Beams of heavy wood. Open concept. Mac screens bigger than your wildest dreams. 50lb coffee table books. On collecting art. Design. Low industrial furniture. Schedules. Tokyo. Paris. Milan. And, tucked in the corner, an espresso machine made for a king.

I sit. Wait. Listen. Smile. As her dreams unfold. As she hears. Yes. An open door. A destiny. Beginning.

Congratulations sister B. I’d give up any day for you.  

Yesterday my sister Brittany landed her dream internship with the FYI lab, buried in Spud Valley, where three world-renowned designers create Burton’s Gucci. Aka. The AK line.

The start to a very good day:

• Waking up to the smell of fresh-baked cookies (Karen baked dozens for the school this morning…)
• Watching birds bound through the crisp dew air to get their share at the Cowper’s bird feeder…
• Staring out at the deep blue ocean

Father, let me never forget this gift. This beauty.

• Started the day with prayer.
• Wrote a list of lies that I, and the women I’ve interviewed so far, often believe: I’m not beautiful enough / I’m not smart enough / I don’t know enough / It won’t matter / It (the dream) is frivolous, I should get a real job
• Wrote a page on Choices: A Choice is Required: Easy vs. Hard / Broad vs. Narrow / False vs. True / Words vs. Deeds

“For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life and those who find it are few.” – Matthew 7:13-14

• E-mailed for most of the morning
• Read some of “Christian Counter-Culture: Sermon on the Mount” by John R.W. Stott
• Went kayaking with Karen – wonderful! They have a whole collection of kayaks here that the neighbours share.
• Had dinner with the Cowpers (steak, cauliflower, mmm…) and played Cranium. Geoff (Mr. Cowper) and I were a team and we had a blast. Unfortunately we lost by one to Karen and Matthew.

I am picking back up on the book writing posts. I am back from Bowen now, but wanted to share with you how the last days of island writing went.

The cover the ‘real’ book-writing journal

• Back on Bowen on Sunday night (April 20.) Feeling desperate.

• Journaled / Prayed:

“Father, I love you but I do not want to speak of You if it is not real. I cannot speak if they are not your words, and I cannot write if you don’t give me anything to say. I need You with everything in me. My words fall to the ground and are of no use. I pray You give me grace to write Your truth in a way that people will understand. Father, the enemy wants me to fall and to rely on myself but I know that without You I am doomed to fail. With you, I have hope because You Are the answer to these people’s longings.

It is my intention, with this series of ‘Book Writing’ posts, to give readers a view into the torturous, lovely, confusing and exhilarating experience of book writing - as I experience it as a first time author.

Lots of collaging and writing is happening. It’s best to show you with pictures so you can get an idea of what I’m talking about:

Page 1

Paper. Paper. Paper.

Quotes. Quotes. Quotes.

I love my tape dispenser with my whole heart. It is a snail. See above.

Pages…

Pages…

And more pages…

Profile pages!

…

It is my intention, with this series of ‘Book Writing’ posts, to give readers a view into the torturous, lovely, confusing and exhilarating experience of book writing - as I experience it as a first time author.

I’m Back! Sorry for the delay with these posts — I have been trying to stay hard at work. This is actually April 15.

• Rode the ferry in with Matthew last night. There was a slight hiccup getting home (shhh: Matthew left the lights on on the car so his dad had the rescue us…)

• Accompanied Matt to dinner at L’abri last (Sunday) night.

• Had a great talk with Mark (one of the L’abri staff) about writing and faith. He lent me “Finding God at Harvard” which is an example of crossing the secular/faith line through telling people’s individual stories. We also talked about Edith Schaeffer’s vision of a TAPESTRY. We see on one side: the knots and strings and mess and dead-ends and mistakes. But God sees the other side: the beautiful tapestry that He is weaving. The big or small messes on one side look very different to Him, in fact they may very well be the masterpieces. “The Tapestry” is the title of a book Edith wrote about the life and times of her and her husband Francis - co-founders of L’abri.

• Read my Nouwen calendar this morning – soo good. Journaled about the permanency of God’s love.
• Spent the morning e-mailing people
• Got a couple of encouraging e-mails/messages from some of the women in my life – Amani and Steph. I printed them off and put them in my journal to go back and read them again for encouragement on this project.
• Went for a long walk/hike (8 km) around the lake. Marisa called me on my cell half-way through my hike - it was such a treat to catch up with her.
• Got home and wrote a long ‘to-do’ list which will have to wait until tomorrow
• Picked up a movie (The Darjeeling Limited) and pint of Ben and Jerry’s with Matthew in the cove
• Good night

Anna Vandas

• Interviewed the lovely Anna Vandas at Wendell’s in Fort Langley. She is a singer, painter and dancer - making her living as full-time artist. What a beautiful woman inside and out. I first met Anna through her husband Dave a couple of summers ago. Her and I have never hung out before, but after one 2-hour talk over java (french vanilla latte for me and caramel frappuccino for her) she felt like such a kindred spirit. Afterwards, I dropped her off at the Dance Barn studio, which I had always wanted to see in person.

See Anna and the Dance Barn troupe in action at their performance:

Freiheit {Freedom} May 2, 3 & 4 at the Chief Sepass Theatre (9096 Trattle Road, Langley.) Go here for tickets.

• Visited with my dear friend Keela Keeping and dreamed together about what God wants to do with “In the company of beautiful people…” We are talking about doing a documentary and other media elements for the project; talked about getting funding for the project, etc. Keela always encouraged me to dream big because God is BIG.
• Stopped by the Christian Info Society office in Langley to see how the layout of Options turned out. After working with Darian Kovacs from canadafire on the first issue of salt. magazine, Christian Info approached us to partner with them to rebrand their magazine, Options. So salt. is no longer, but we are working hard to be all that we dreamed of for salt. (young, savvy, thoughtful, challenging, Canadian) and more. My role is as Associate Editor with the mag for at least the next year.

[Weekend @ home]:

• Had an amazing weekend mostly spent at a Vision Retreat for our local church: Every Nation. It was the most honest, transparent, transformative meeting I have ever been a part of with our community in seven years. Michael and I feel rejuvenated, inspired and full of hope for our church community and a healthy weight of responsibility for the part God is calling us to play there.
• Saturday night we hung out with Avital, Chris and Jeff at Spanish Banks. What a gorgeous evening.
• We completed the day by watching the web-release Cult of Sincerity. I fell asleep before it was over.
• Sunday morning Michael cooked eggs, sausages and pancakes for breakfast. Yum. I had a great hang out with Megan in English Bay before heading back to Bowen in the afternoon.

Avital, Corwyn and I on the adorable bridge to the Cowper house

• This is April 9
• Checked e-mails in the morning. Most of the women I e-mailed have responded. Most of them don’t understand why their story is ‘worthy’ of being told. It is amazing to me how humble these women are. We are so ‘programmed’ to think about certain people as being ‘something’ and others not depending on our type of position, work and/or level of ‘success.’ We have lost the belief that we have intrinsic value, and that life and the world does too. We work for value, but it is false. Because the truth is: we have value, period.

• Avital and Jenn (and Corwyn – Avital and Chris’ new baby boy) came to visit today. I went and picked them up from the ferry

Waiting for the ferry to arrive, Photos care of Avital

• It was lovely having them on the island. They are wonderful, trustworthy friends and the best company. We shared a meal of grilled cheese (with aged white cheddar and rosemary) and salad. We sat and talked with Matthew’s mom, Karen, when she returned home. I think she enjoyed the girly company. :)

Here are some pix from our visiting day:

bah bah black sheep, at the farm down the lane

preparing lunch in the kitchen

dishes in the kitchen

books, books and more books

Go to Avital’s blog to see more photos from their visit.

• Came home to the mainland and drove the girls home
• Went out for sushi with Michael
• Ran through my power point notes for teaching tomorrow’s class (Business Communication at Langara) with Michael, tweaked it
• Went to bed too late for the 6am wake up call